Saturday, April 29, 2006
weird
everything seems fine for a few mth...i thought i might find some hope...but!!!found out from some friend that it has still been the same...been treated like a fool...and the thing is that she call mi weird...she call mi WEIRD!!!!can it be any worse then that???fuck that...somemore i am being make use of during the exam period...she canot find anyone for help..i volunteer...i am foolish...dumb...i dun regret helping her and company...but...she put it in a way that i am her last hope..back up...i wont tolerate that....
now that there is no point saying anything...i am depressed...ya..i vow to myself to only love her for these 3 yrs and help her whenever she need help..i will keep to my words..i her continue to be stupid..dumb...and a fool...i got to keep my promise...but i swear to heaven in front to all my readers..i will lose weight in a mth time...i will be back to myself...i dun believe with my calibre i will not be able to get a gf...
i stop flirting with gals when i met her...because i promise not to...or maybe i am not gd at it or dunno how to...but from today onwards..i will learn and excel in it...get it...i will...i will study hard and win...winning is my fort...i may not be the best..but i will be better then many of u guys..
BEWARE!!!!
~}Dreaming of you @ {9:22 AM}
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Tuesday, April 25, 2006
Prove our worth
to jeric,ash and myself,
Heyz..so sch starting...time to get our mindset there...time to buck up and prove our worth...all of us has got our target...although we may not be able to excel as the best..but we also should not be look down...get a realistic target and work for it...remember...muz achieve the target and not let anyone look down on us...we muz be above the average...imagine the u in the bottomline and when ppl look down and say u r lousy..u wont want to look down and see no one to say.."hey, u r lousy too" except a gate opening for u..named "THE HELL GATE"...we shall work hard and advance together...remember no money no honey...the best way to break away form proverty is through education...
Guys...all the best...
THE NEXT MISSION:
PROVE OUT WORTH
DO OUR BEST
BE ABOVE AVERAGE
~}Dreaming of you @ {6:19 PM}
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Monday, April 24, 2006
wossshh!!!!
wow...last week of IPP...it is now 10 am when i pen down this blog..oh...three and three quarter days to go...finishing soon...this week pack liao lor...ahahaz..going out with lots of friends and my cousins too...this fri going clubbing...today going out with jeric and ash to town ba...later having lunch with my supervisors...also muz find one evening to treat my supervisors this week...anyway hes leaving...think found new pasture...gd for him ba...as for mi...the same old thing juz came back to mi..study...
i hope i got something happier to write when i post my next blog...alamak..actually wanted to help my friends...but in the end got rejected by two gals...one not free...one dun wan to meet,..i feel sad for them..cause they wer not even given a chance...espically ash...how am i going to tell him lina dun wan to meet him??hes sad enough...damm lina...ahahaz...jkjk la...
as for jeric.. i also dunno whether christina is telling the truth...but anyway...i will try to contact her again...but pls remind mi...
think this song suits us man...to ash,jeric and daron...chen xiao chun
perhaps we can only dream ba..like the last 3 sentance....ahahaz
~}Dreaming of you @ {6:36 PM}
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Friday, April 21, 2006
Animal farm
yeah...that wat they name themselves...ahahaz...wosh....10 weeks has since pass...next week is my last week already...gong back sch..omg...NP students,lina and zhi xuan left the animal farm today...SP student, jun jie and yvonne has also left 2 week ago....haizzz...i miss them...we can click well...ahahaz...they are a grp of fun loving and supportive friends...to be frank..they are a million time closer to mi than my classmate in NYP....i hate that class of mine...dunno y am i in the class...
In the class, i am only one of the idiot who join the cut throat game...look like everyone is trying to get the other down...selfish ppl...i really dun wish to get to that class of mine...i dun feel close with them at all...worse than stranger...i can even smile at stranger...but not them...
My colleauge has brought mi joy...usually i am not so close with gals...but they are different...we can talk almost anything under the sun...ahhaz...they are a great bunch of colleauge...they is no jealousy and so on...all happy and joyful...i can be my the other self with them,crappy and unusual...not the stern looking guy...act cool not cool de...ahhaz..omg...i miss going out with them...the most memorable is the frog porridge...they are marvellous...remember to call mi out ok...muz contact each other ok...dun foget mi...miss all the NP and SP student...hehe...
~}Dreaming of you @ {7:55 AM}
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Thursday, April 20, 2006
BOring
heeeyoooo...boring...what a bored day today is...i done nth much today in the office...haizzz...my grades...i dun wanna think of it liaozzz....dammm...
aiyo...suddenly realise i been out with the same grp of friends...the bachalor grp...ahahaz...daron ash and jeric...those friends i have and are attached give all sorts of excuse not to go out...but thinking back i was almost like them anyway...i cannot blame them too...but at least i am not bad as them lor...ahahaz...excuses like i need to save money la...going out with gf la...not free la...budget la...all the same...damm..got better excuses...ahahaz...
my friends say i am funny these few days...maybe i am...i feel a bit too...i dunno y i am suddenly like a child...think i am tooo bored ba...but when i am serious they say i trying to act cool...haizzz...dunno what to do also...ahahaz....
haizzz...i dun like to go hm...i feel lonely...lonely, i'm so lonrly..ahahaz...omg...been single for almost a yr liao...so sianz...feel like finding a new gf...but cannot...i muz concentrate on studies liao...like what i promise my friend...either i patch with her and study hard...or i juz study hard...my GPA muz go up to 3.5...
sch coming liao...got this mixed feelings...but eventually i still like sch...y??because sch is a better place...we dun have to work from 8.30 to 6 anymore...fri is also a off day...and i desperately wants to graduate from this stupid NYP...it a useless poly...thirdly i wan to get my dreams faster....even knowing such thing cannot be rush...and lastly...i wan to perform...once in sch i can show to everyone i am not that stupid lazy shawn....i wan to perform...i gonna show them!!!!!
~}Dreaming of you @ {2:46 AM}
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Monday, April 17, 2006
FINE
to all my friends..i am ok...thanks for all that console..so touch...but of course i wont express out...cause i am a guy...with too much dignity le ba..ahahaz...thanks lei...special thanks to lina who sms mi late in the night...really appreciate that...wileen who talk to mi in msn..althought i never reply but i know u do show concern...felicia who also express her concern to mi in the office...thanks yiting for dedicating a post for mi...nice one there...also lancaster also has tag mi and show conceren...thanks for all that....i am fine...i juzt need the desperate situation to get out of everything...because i only act or perform when i am force to..ahhaz...sound like i am a obstinate person huh...ahaahz...
~}Dreaming of you @ {11:12 PM}
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RUIN
ruin life..ruin relationship..ruin studies grades and ruin shawn...this is wat i have under my name...having a terrible headache now...life suks..i suk even more...living like a dead man without souls...wat can i ask for more...ppl treat mi like a fool..wat nicknames do i still have??FOOL!!!nice one huh...
i am going hm tonight..going to sleep once i reach hm..i am sick..sick of everything(dead or living ) in this world...i hate the world..the world hate mi..
i am going berserk..................................fuk that..........................
~}Dreaming of you @ {1:52 AM}
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Sunday, April 16, 2006
fool again
Westife,fool again...i like to listen to this particular song..cause it resembles how i feel and some of my thoughts are inside...anyway...i think i am a fool once again...sometimes i tend to ponder over certain things and forget the whole situation...right now my feelings are mixed, confused and lousy...imagine my heart is confined inside locked room..waiting for someone to get mi out from the outside..being confined for almost a year is bad...in fact..it get bored and seeks freedom...there are of course gals who try to open it...but they are nt the one i am waiting for...disappointment would cloud me whenever the one who open the door is not her...today, this particular morning, i sms her once again...today is monday, whereby i have to crawl out of my bed after a long weekends of working,tired and fustrated...as usual...her sms would make the situation worse..maybe she think her reply is short and sweet..but to mi...its cruel and pathetic..she usually only reply my last qn, one of my question or not even ans...is like she is not too bothered to reply or she din even bothered to read my sms in full..ahahaz..
i am a normal person aspiring to be someone great...i know i am not good looking..not smart...and neither the perfect kind man in the eys of women...i lack the qualities to be great..i lack patience...the ultimate knowledge to be a great man...i am skeptical toward women since my second gf..one of my greatest mistake is to ditch my 1st gf for the 2nd...some ppl may may say it possesive...but i prefer the word skeptical...but i lack the trust towards gals...cause of that experience i went through...because of that..led to the third breakup..u can say i deserve it...but i just say i am being practical...
lastly...another main problem i have is the lasck of hte ability to process information through the most important part of my body; BRAIN...maybe i usually speak without thinking..i suppose i have hurt one of my best buddies...she the one who has help mi throughout my sec sch life and much of my sucess in my o levels should been attributed for her generous help..recently found out something from someone i am not familiar with...i had told the gal who has help mi deeply to lose weight in a negative way...this has even made know to someone i dunno...omg...i wish to say sry..but thing has long pased...and it difficult to open my mouth...here..i would like to apologise... i am sorry...
~}Dreaming of you @ {6:18 PM}
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Wednesday, April 12, 2006
Stress!!
yup...whenever i sms her and ask how's her work, that her reply..i feel so sorry for her...but i cannot do anything either...i tried comforting her but failed..i aask her out but she is not free..hmmm...wat can i do??i dunno...with her, i feel hot and cold...i felt warmth and also coldness...it make mi sick...haizz...let say about something happier then...yesterday we went to celebrate...to enjoy the soon departure of the SP students..i dunno how to spell their name...but dun get it wrong ok...we r not hapry that they are leaving..anyway we also have got each other timtable and would meet up even when my sch start..i suppose..ahahaz....then i went to sch for the GEO council meeting and i think i left my pencil box there...omg..after that went out for dinner with ash and jeric...daron also joined us too...i think we can form the bachelor club soon..ahahaz...no la...actually jeric also has a target liao...i jus hope he could take the first step...and i really wan to wish him happiness...as for ash..ahahax...he is jus one horny a** hole...gal gals galsss...ahahaz..that wat all he is thinking...but of course i do hope he find someone he love..but not because he has to or feel bored without a gal...for daron..i think he has gone through a miserable breakup with his ex..i pity him though...i think he is taking some time to rest now...so let not bother him...let him rest well..he can de la..he also quite handsome...somemore so devoted to kayaing and lots of gal in the kayaing club...have no worries for him..anyway went hm v late yesterday too...12 plus lei...i slept al 1 plus..today wake up so tired.,..gonna be sick again...omg...
~}Dreaming of you @ {9:29 PM}
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Tuesday, April 11, 2006
read my blog!!
wa...yesterday had serious running nose then follow by nose block...but amazingly i still went to watch two movies and eat pasta mania with my best friend, daron...ahahaz...spent like almost 50 yesterday...wth....save money...now it sounds absurd to mi...finally..another friend of mine told mi she got a bf...i wan to tell her if she ever read my blog....ALL THE BEST...U WILL BE HAPPY WITH HIM...these word are from mi....sincerely alright...no gals has ever been happy with mi...u r right to go with the guy...u found ur wing and now about to take off to a new dream land...go on...do not look back...i can say u r a great friends...n i hope all the secret i had told u will be kept as a secret...promise mi ok....dun ever say out...ur past is no longer important...wat matters id the future..also...study hard...i know i been naggy...like an old uncle...but that the best route for u...never mind if u never get into poly...but if u work hard to retake ur o levels this yr...u be able to make it...go on to a university...u see better skies...trust mi...alright i shall not be naggy...got free we meet outside ok...i mean go out la...ahahaz...see u...ALL the best...
~}Dreaming of you @ {1:39 AM}
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read my blog!!
~}Dreaming of you @ {1:39 AM}
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Friday, April 07, 2006
going out!!!
Finally...after a long and tiring week days ...today is fri and the final hr before i am going out...hmmm...today go PS lor...dunno do wat sia..ahahaz...aiyo..this week thought i can save some monry...in the end i watch 2 movies and spent almost a hundred already..sat still going to KTV...omg...this time deficit again...haizz....if i dun control myself i be in this rat race forever..i wan to come out..i wan financial freedom...i remembered my teacher once told mi...because we are not rich and our parents are not so well educated...therefore we as their children muz hard harder and study hard...so that we can be out of the proverty cycle...i will do juz that...i will study hard...to attain financial freedom we muz buy assets...income generating assets...i know this..but i am not doing it...ahahaz...damm...maybe i am still young...i do not feel the presure...but that an excuse...money fears two thing...time and interest...compound interest is the greastest discovery of all...it is the only shortcut to financial freedom...but it got to allied with time...without time..it become useless..i know all these shiit term...but not following it..lol...two quote to remember...
1..it not how much u earn,it how much u save that amaze.
2.Smart people do not necessary do different things,it just that they do thing differently
~}Dreaming of you @ {1:27 AM}
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Sunday, April 02, 2006
PaIN,sadness,agony
I also dunno wat to say anymore...love u has become my agony, pain and sadness...i am too confused...gd girls are around....though not comparable to u in my heart but they at least treat me decently...i am no fool...i acted like one because u like to see it...but how long can this substain...i know this wont last..but y did i still do that...because of my simple and pure love....i am not a sophiscated person and have no wish to join in that sophiscated game...thinking of u..missing u has sort of become a routine everyday...dont u feel it....i been thinking...thinking hard to make u realise that i have change..become better...but so what...to u i am no better than ur friend...
~}Dreaming of you @ {8:09 PM}
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