wishing upon the stars

Monday, August 27, 2007

falling stars??

When we were in france...u were the taker and i am the caregiver...i did many things just to please u...ur unresonable demands...now back in singapore...i no longer wan to be the caregiver..its too tiring...resentment and anger has clouded my vision...how am i suppose to catch the falling stars...i am equally sad to say those things yesterday...but i am left with no choice...

~}Dreaming of you @ {6:53 PM}

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relationship

Healing Co-Dependent Relationships
Relationship counsellors will tell you that the most common relationship dynamic they encounter is that of the co-dependent taker/caretaker.
Takers are people who tend to be self-centred, with an excessive need for attention and admiration. The taker attempts to control getting love, attention, approval or sex from others with anger, blame, violence, criticism, irritation, righteousness, neediness, invasive touch, invasive energy, incessant talking and/or emotional drama. In a relationship, takers operate from the belief that "you are responsible for my feelings of pain and joy. It is your job to make sure that I am okay".
Caretakers, conversely, operate from the belief that "I am responsible for your feelings. When I do it right, you will be happy and then I will receive the approval I need".Caretakers sacrifice their own needs and wants to take care of the needs and wants of others, even when others are capable of doing it themselves. Caretakers give to others from fear rather than love; in other words, they give to get.
Neither takers nor caretakers take responsibility for their own feelings and wellbeing. They often end up feeling angry, resentful, trapped, unappreciated, unseen, unloved, misunderstood, and/or unacknowledged. The problem is that takers and caretakers naturally find each other because of their need to feed on each others' weaknesses.
So if you're in a taker/caretaker relationship, what can you do to heal it?
Well, relationships heal when individuals heal. When each partner works on reducing their own selfish needs, their relationship system heals. When each person learns to take full personal responsibility for his or her own feelings of pain and joy, they stop pulling on each other and blaming each other. When each person learns to fill themselves with love and share that love with each other, instead of always trying to get love, the relationship heals.
Learning how to take responsibility for your own feelings is one of the essential ingredients in creating a healthy relationship. This means learning to be conscious of what you are feeling and being open to learning about what you are doing to create your own feelings, instead of being a victim and believing that others are causing your feelings. Your feelings come from how you treat yourself and others, from what you tell yourself and what you believe about yourself and others, rather than from others behaviour. Blaming others for your feelings will always lead to major relationship problems.
Why not start today by taking your eyes off your partner and putting them squarely on yourself? In reality, you are the only one you actually have control over. You are the only one you can change. Only when you change will the relationship get better.

Our relationship is currently in this situation...maybe we shld never been together...but as promise i will give u the last chance...however...i hope u know wat to do...

~}Dreaming of you @ {6:23 PM}

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Wednesday, August 15, 2007

LIFESTYLE!!

life has always been a bit of hectic for mi...aiya..really wan to slow things down but sometimes it just dun happen the way u wan it to be...been working for almost 3 mth le..and offically going to army on the 13 of sep...i think i had lost the letter...this time die liao...i am going to search for it...if i cant find it...how am i going to know where and wat time to report...lol....

i really hope my dad would be more daring and take his business to greater heights...so that we would be richer and would not be looked down...been living poor throughout most of my life and it starting to get better...i alway tried to search for coffeeshop for my dad...but the thing is my dad is rather conservative...he dun wanna take on huge risk....on second thought..i guess i know wat is he thinking...he dun wan a situation whereby he fail his business and left with nth...as we are still schooling...remaining in the current situation(if nth happens)...we would have most of the basic needs and of course wont be v rich too...and also one thing is my dad really worked too hard...he slog for long working hrs just to provide for us...sometimes i wonder when his hard work would be paid off...haizz...life is really tough...lol....

as for myself..i had tried to help in anyway i can...i do sympathies with him for working so hard....i also promise him i would study hard so as to make him proud...and no matter wat will happen to my dad investment, i would still support him...

some ppl are just born with a silver spoon but as for my family..or rather my dad...he fight his way out for a living...i seriouslypray that god would be fair...give him his fair share for his hard work...

~}Dreaming of you @ {10:51 PM}

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